I need a Carbon County bumper sticker for my guitar case. Road musicians travel a lot, hence the name. I've got stickers all over my cases documenting our travels, but none from this area. That's no good.

Musicians have to live someplace but it could be anywhere, as we'll still have to go someplace else regularly. I've been living here for twenty-one years and am still impressed with it. In fact, the more we travel, the more I realize we live in one of the most hospitable places on Earth.

Sure, summer heat can be scorching, and winters are quite cold. Consider the alternatives.

On the West Coast, the ground occasionally moves under your feet, a disheartening thing. I like my terra, firma. California burns annually, too. Imagine fires fanned by high winds for weeks! Firefighters are heroes, but out there they are champions among the great, as they deal on a scale East Coasters never experience.

No volcanoes in Pennsylvania anymore either, and I'm glad. Forget rivers of fire. Looks pretty on TV, but get close to one and—oh man, the smell. Cool on a sticker, though.

Ever been to a desert? They also look pretty, with lots of stars in the sky. But hot as the sun by day, freezing at night. Bone dry, and the critters (even small ones) can kill you. Deserts make you ornery, or you don't survive. Ample dirt, though. You appreciate water.

When it rains in the desert, the water goes peculiar places, and nobody seems to know how to handle it. There's no money for flood control where it never rains. Got a sticker that says so.

My sister Gina lives near Seattle. They have two seasons, the wet and July. At times, the ground becomes so saturated it slides down hill bringing trees, mud and houses with it. A surveyor will have steady work, but better also have a good rain slicker.

In Texas, I encountered a tornado. Seldom seen in Pennsylvania, as it's too hilly. In Texas they have ripping big twisters. Imagine waking to find your garage in the neighbor's pool. And that's if you're lucky.

Remember the Polynesian tsunami a few years ago? Never happens in Pennsylvania. The beach is wonderful to visit but if one day the water is above my porch, I'll drive to it, thanks.

In Buffalo, the snowplows are eight feet high. In Nebraska, trees explode from the cold. Florida has the worst lightening storms on the planet. Missouri cannot tell you where the rivers will be next Spring. There are so many mosquitoes in Louisiana, they carry you to Tennessee before they eat you.

They all have stickers promoting this stuff! But earthquakes and volcanoes, tornadoes, tsunamis, killer bees don't really happen here. Yes, we get wind, rain, ants and fires, but not enough to capitalize with a sticker.

Pennsylvanians are frugal, practical people. It's the German Mennonite farmer influence. While very capable in adversity, they don't look for trouble. It makes sense to settle where there is predictable heat and cold, occasional heavy rain and seasonal allergies. In the big picture, we can deal with that.

When my band travels, no matter how exotic the locale, I always enjoy coming home. I'm comfortable with our little mountains, rivers, some rain, snow and sun. I like trees, towns, and resilient people who know a good thing when they see it. Perhaps it's the musician in me that appreciates that here we have everything—in moderation.

Hey.that would make a good sticker! Carbon County: Everything in Moderation.

OK, stop laughing.

Mike Stanley